The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages

These five categories make up Gary Chapman’s famous Five Love Languages:

1 Quality Time,

2 Touch,

3 Words of Affirmation,

4 Giving of Gifts,

5 Acts of Service.

I think one of the most obvious of these Love Languages is giving of gifts. Remember when you first found that special someone; you looked for a special occasion like a birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmas to express your feelings for them through a gift of Candy, Flowers, or taking them out and buying them Supper: the ole “Dinner and a Movie!” Of all of the Love Languages, giving of gifts seem to be the most tangible, because most of the others can often be discounted or mistaken for meaning less than intended, as if they were just a friendly gesture. But how would it feel to spend a lifetime of relationship with that special someone and come to realize that you were a Greek lover, speaking Greek to them, and their native language was French, and they had not gotten the message all these years. They were waiting for amour and you were giving them all the agape, eros, storge, and phileo you could muster! I can hear a girl being debriefed following a date. “Did he tell you amour?” “No, he just kept mumbling these four words; agape, eros, storge, and phileo; I never did figure out what he was trying to say.” You were giving gifts, because you value gifts, you love getting gifts, and you want them to know you value them, because giving gifts is your love language. But their love language might be acts of service, you feel like he is just trying to buy your affections, and he never does anything for you. You are always cooking for him, but he never offers to help with the dishes.

There are many examples of how differing love languages cause conflict and can be difficult to resolve. Have you ever had experiences where differing Love languages might have been a factor? How would things have been different if you had known each others primary love languages?

Christian vs. Christ Follower => Christian no more?

This is a disturbing struggle, and a necessary struggle, but I pray the outcome will be more Christ focused and beneficial than the debate itself.
I have grown up in church, been involved in Christian circles as well as secular schools and workplaces, so I have a broad backdrop with which to view this whole debate/debacle, whatever you want to call it. But I consider the most important of criteria relating to all of this is not in labeling, but in reality. I have a real and genuine relationship with the Christ that is referenced in this issue. And it burdens me that several groups of professing Christian, believing, Christ following people are arguing or at least contending, not just for the faith, but against each other's faith or the genuineness there of. At issue: having a genuine life changing, eternity effecting faith in Christ, and living in such a way that effects others life for time and eternity for the better, i.e. that they can see the reality of Christ and experience its benefits and fulfill its call in there lives. We can debate and fuss and win arguments, but, to borrow from a hymn, All is vain unless the spirit of The Holy One comes down. There is only one Holy One, and he desires Unity, not division or derision. Now, he doesn't want unity at the sacrifice of truth, but unified around the Truth. The Truth has already been sacrificed on the Cross. Let us learn lessons from this struggle we face, realize what is important, and win our friends and loved ones to Christ, for Christ. The Christian is not a genuine believer because he wears a suit and tie, but neither is the Christ follower a genuine believer because he doesn't. It is good to realize we want to do our best and show respect for God and His presence: not to impress Him, but to show we value Him and Honor Him. We don't want to imply that you need a three piece suit to worship God, and I will be the first to dress casual to avoid making a non-Christian uncomfortable coming to find out more about Christ, but I have seen things swing way the other way, to the point you have people becoming self righteously dressing worldly, or sloppily and feeling more "Christian" for it. It's not about what you wear. It's about your heart. He says to come to Christ the way you are, but he doesn't say stay the way you are. If we come repentant, we will change/be changed. Not to three piece suits, but we also will learn to dress discretely, not advertising and being a sexual stumbling block.
A biblical principle and even mandate is that the spiritually more mature believers attempt to live a life of mercy by living, not under bondage to the old law, but limiting our freedom and thereby not being a stumbling block to others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to prepare yourself for worship of the creator of the universe. The High Priest did this every time he went into the Holy of Holy's. We need to listen much more that we speak and we can learn from each other. I believe we have a lot to learn form each other, and the devil would have us so concerned about being luke warm that he keeps us in opposing ditches! I am fairly conservative, but I don't want to fall into the self righteous ditch, nor swerve into liberality where I stand for nothing and fall for anything. I believe the Holy Spirit leads with discernment that can put us all back on track.

Serendipity

The word “serendipity”, synonymous with chance, fate, destiny, karma, providence, luck, fortune, coincidence, is a very intriguing term.

The movie bearing this name can be seen as a sappy love story about boy meets girl, but also serendipitously presents some interesting topics for discussion about how seemingly chance meetings become long term relationships, and how fate, destiny, and choices might intermingle to become the reality of today, and the history of yesterday.

Serendipity is defined in the movie as “a series of fortunate accidents.”

Of the three relationships that are presented in this movie, (the two main characters destined for love, their respective significant others, and the best man and his significant other) all three find themselves single, in somewhat committed relationships, but cohabiting with their significant other without the commitment of marriage. At the end of the movie, none are still together in the same relationship although the relationships seemed to last about 2 years each. I find this interesting because that is the length of time that Gary Smalley says that the typical romantic love cycle runs its course and begins to rely on what he terms as covenant love, a love based more on commitment than emotions.

Since serendipity is one of those words not used regularly, its meaning often is defined by the context of its use as much as its use actually brings meaning to its context. I think this is true in this movie. What is the movie really trying to say about relationships and how they transpire, migrate, mitigate? What is the title trying to say about the movie?

Serendipity has something in common with synergy. Like serendipity, a synergistic relationship, the combination of components yields more than the sum of the components. But with synergy, the benefactor can be seen as internal and the nature of the unique combination of components, whereas with serendipity, the benefactor is external whether credited to some mystical power of fate or karma, or the great designer, God. These two concepts could come together where the synergistic relationship is seen as a result of God’s design and even God’s leading them to be combined.

Other definitions:

1. Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.
2. Getting more than you bargained for!
3. The discovery of something not sought
4. One aspect of Walpole's original definition of serendipity that is often missed in modern discussions of the word is the "sagacity" of being able to link together apparently innocuous facts to come to a valuable conclusion.

Quotations on serendipity

• "In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind." Louis Pasteur
• "Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for." Lawrence Block
• "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny …'" Isaac Asimov
• "In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts." Peter McWilliams
• "Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter." Julius Comroe Jr.
• "Serendipity is putting a quarter in the gumball machine and having three pieces come rattling out instead of one—all red." Peter H. Reynolds
• "--- you don't reach Serendib by plotting a course for it. You have to set out in good faith for elsewhere and lose your bearings ... serendipitously." John Barth, The Last Voyage of Somebody the Sailor
• "Serendipity is the art of making an unsought finding." Pek van Andel (1994)

Single And Christian-Coupled With Christ

I arrived at the term "Coupled With Christ" as we looked for a name for a group we were forming at our church. My desire as a single person is to realize myself to be coupled with Christ, and therefore, complete in Christ and there-by whole. Thus, I can have confidence and assurance being single, even if I desire a mate, and be like Paul, content in whatever state or situation I find myself in. This sometimes works better in theory than in practice, but I also see myself as a work in progress. I also have a 4-1/2 year old daughter that, as a widower, I find it often difficult to be a smiling happy-go-lucky single. I am one that is truly in love with being in love, and I have to consider that in my relationships. Still, I realize that it is Christ in me, the hope of Glory, and through Christ, and in the power of the Holy Spirit of God, I can accomplish anything within His will. He only wants the best for me, for it is in Him that I live and move and have my being. He has moved me from seeing myself primarily as a widower clinging to Christ(victim of the death of a wife) to a Single couped up with Christ (yea, even Christians can feel confined and bound by our circumstances); to a Single coupled with Christ and seeing myself as God does, having and knowing plans for me, plans to prosper me and give me a future.
Sometimes we go through things that require us to re-learn old lessons. Most recently, I have relearned to relax in the passenger seat. When you are used to driving, and having control, being a passenger can be unnerving, to say the least. There are no brake pedals when you want the world to stop and let you off; no gas pedal when you want things to get on with the getting on, and no steering wheel when you want to navigate those curves and take a little detour. Sometimes we have not only trust issues, but control issues we must deal with if we want to continue to grow in Christ and the knowledge of the truth.

Pray for me, and I will pray for you.

Leave a comment, concern, prayer request. You are never alone, unless you choose to be. There are often many people around, and you can still feel lonely. But unless you have shut Christ out of your life, you will never be alone. And as we find ourselves complete in Christ, we also find ourselves reaching out to others. We find ourselves united not only with Christ, but also in Christ, in Christian fellowship and Love.

If you have never asked him in, it is never too late this side of the grave. That was my wifes greatest desire, to know that those she loved would one day be re-united with her in eternity with Christ!

God Bless!