Christian vs. Christ Follower => Christian no more?

This is a disturbing struggle, and a necessary struggle, but I pray the outcome will be more Christ focused and beneficial than the debate itself.
I have grown up in church, been involved in Christian circles as well as secular schools and workplaces, so I have a broad backdrop with which to view this whole debate/debacle, whatever you want to call it. But I consider the most important of criteria relating to all of this is not in labeling, but in reality. I have a real and genuine relationship with the Christ that is referenced in this issue. And it burdens me that several groups of professing Christian, believing, Christ following people are arguing or at least contending, not just for the faith, but against each other's faith or the genuineness there of. At issue: having a genuine life changing, eternity effecting faith in Christ, and living in such a way that effects others life for time and eternity for the better, i.e. that they can see the reality of Christ and experience its benefits and fulfill its call in there lives. We can debate and fuss and win arguments, but, to borrow from a hymn, All is vain unless the spirit of The Holy One comes down. There is only one Holy One, and he desires Unity, not division or derision. Now, he doesn't want unity at the sacrifice of truth, but unified around the Truth. The Truth has already been sacrificed on the Cross. Let us learn lessons from this struggle we face, realize what is important, and win our friends and loved ones to Christ, for Christ. The Christian is not a genuine believer because he wears a suit and tie, but neither is the Christ follower a genuine believer because he doesn't. It is good to realize we want to do our best and show respect for God and His presence: not to impress Him, but to show we value Him and Honor Him. We don't want to imply that you need a three piece suit to worship God, and I will be the first to dress casual to avoid making a non-Christian uncomfortable coming to find out more about Christ, but I have seen things swing way the other way, to the point you have people becoming self righteously dressing worldly, or sloppily and feeling more "Christian" for it. It's not about what you wear. It's about your heart. He says to come to Christ the way you are, but he doesn't say stay the way you are. If we come repentant, we will change/be changed. Not to three piece suits, but we also will learn to dress discretely, not advertising and being a sexual stumbling block.
A biblical principle and even mandate is that the spiritually more mature believers attempt to live a life of mercy by living, not under bondage to the old law, but limiting our freedom and thereby not being a stumbling block to others. There is nothing wrong with wanting to prepare yourself for worship of the creator of the universe. The High Priest did this every time he went into the Holy of Holy's. We need to listen much more that we speak and we can learn from each other. I believe we have a lot to learn form each other, and the devil would have us so concerned about being luke warm that he keeps us in opposing ditches! I am fairly conservative, but I don't want to fall into the self righteous ditch, nor swerve into liberality where I stand for nothing and fall for anything. I believe the Holy Spirit leads with discernment that can put us all back on track.